I need a change in my perspective. Things have finally seemed to come spiraling out of control it seems. I can't seem to figure it out right now. I feel like half the person, maybe even a quarter of the person I'd like to be. I'm so uncomfortable with myself, inside and out. I don't know what's going on but lately it seems to be effecting every aspect of my life. My emotional state is all over the board but I try to keep it controlled and then I hit a wall of straight up anger/frustration. I just want to stand on the top of a hill and scream.
I deserve more than I'm letting myself deserve. My family deserves more than I'm able to provide. My friends deserve the friend I can truly be and not this person who isn't entirely there. I hide away in my home and refuse to budge on it. What in the world is wrong with me?
Everything seems so wrong. I feel like I'm on an alien planet inside my own mind. Circling around a world that is so clear but not reality. Ugh.
Things need to change and I have the control but I feel so out of control.
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